


Longing

by bluemadridista



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Anger, Angst, Christmas, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Humor, M/M, david silva/david villa (mentioned), sergio ramos/fernando torres (mentioned)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-07
Updated: 2013-02-07
Packaged: 2017-11-28 12:24:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/674364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemadridista/pseuds/bluemadridista
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>David Silva had always been with David Villa. Juan had always been there for him as a friend, but he always wanted more. When Villa breaks Silva's heart, Juan hopes he'll finally get what he always wanted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Longing

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing, know no one. This is all untrue.  
> I hope you all enjoy. Please let me know what you think. Comments are welcomed and loved!

David Silva had spent his entire adult life with David Villa. He was his first, not just his first man…his first sexual experience, his first love. And now he was gone. He had left Valencia and Silva for a bigger club and a better life with his wife and daughter in Barcelona. They were no longer on speaking terms for the moment, but if they were, it wouldn’t have been much easier. Barcelona was four hours from Valencia where David Silva was stuck for another year. He had wanted to move too. He didn’t want to be at their club without Villa. He wanted to make a move, but Valencia would not let him go until his contract was officially up in another year. He felt lonely and apathetic. He didn’t care about anything anymore. He dragged himself to practices, but only because he’d been taught never to shirk his responsibilities. Football was still an important part of his life, even if his life was now an incomplete mess.

It was four months into Valencia’s first season without Villa – almost Christmas – and Silva had never felt more alone in his entire life. He was surrounded by people, surrounded by the players he’d been friends with for years, but he felt completely alone. His heart ached for a connection like the one he had with Villa. He knew, however, that what he had with Villa was true love, the kind you only get once in a lifetime.

“If you’re lucky,” he would hear his mother’s voice saying when he thought of these things.

He knew he should consider himself lucky. What’s that saying, “It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?”

Silva never was one to go against his mother. He loved his mother, so much he went by her surname, rather than his father’s like most Spaniards. However, in this instance, he thought he must disagree. He loved his time with Villa, but he was left so brokenhearted now that he was without him that he wondered if his life would be better if he’d never have met him at all.

 

Juan Mata had been watching the two Davids, Silva and Villa, for years. They’d all been on the Valencia squad together for five years. He had always wanted a relationship like that. He was only twenty-two, and he’d only ever been with two girls – nothing serious, but he knew it wasn’t right for him. He wanted something like Villa and Silva had. Actually, he wanted exactly what Villa had…before he’d abandoned it for one of the most hated clubs in the football world.

He had been in love with Silva since their first match. Juan had been so young when he joined up with Valencia. He was nervous and intimidated by the other players. When he missed a crucial shot in his first game, a shot at the last second that would have won Valencia the match, he broke down. Silva found him curled up in the warm room, shaking and crying. He had sat with him, held him, and whispered consolations and encouragements to him for nearly an hour, until he was sure the other players had all gone home. He made him feel like there was nothing wrong with him, that he was a good player, that he’d make things up eventually. Silva had been right. Juan scored in the next game, an equalizer. Valencia went on to win the match. Juan dedicated his goal to Silva.

Since that day they had been inseparable. As friends. Silva leaned on Juan. He talked to him when he was having problems with Villa which he seldom had. He talked to him when things were good with Villa which was nearly always. And Juan listened. He always listened. He fell deeper and deeper in love with Silva every day. He pined for him.

When Villa left, he thought things could change for him and Silva. He thought Silva would finally wake up and realize that he was in love with him. They would fall in love and be together. Their love would be even better than that of him and Villa or Sernando.

But it had been months and Silva still treated him like he always had, like a friend, like a confidant. He came to him with his feelings of loneliness, his aching, and his yearning. Juan would wrap him in his arms and rock him, let him cry if he needed, the way Silva had done with him so long ago after his first match. He wanted to kiss him and tell him he was in love with him, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it while Silva lamented for his lost love.

 

“It’s my first Christmas without him, Juan.”

It was Christmas Eve in Valencia, snowing outside, but warm and cozy in front of the fireplace in the living room of Juan’s small house. Juan and Silva, both small, were cuddled together in a large armchair by the fireplace. The flickering flames of the fire and a dim lamp behind them provided the only light in the room.

Silva had called Juan that evening after they’d both spent the afternoon with various members of their extended family. He didn’t want to be alone that night, for that first Christmas Eve without Villa. Juan was the only person that even made the loneliness ebb away slightly. Juan could never say, “no” to Silva. He invited him to stay the night.

Silva was curled up in the chair in his white t-shirt and dark blue pajama pants. Juan was in a similar outfit, but his t-shirt was black. He clung to Silva and brushed his tears away when they fell.

“You’re going to be okay, David,” Juan soothed, running his fingers through Silva’s soft brown hair.

“I don’t feel like I will, Juan. I’m totally alone without David. I…” Silva stopped speaking when he heard Juan sniff. He pulled away and looked at Juan, his eyes filled with concern.

Juan quickly wiped his eyes and turned his face away. He couldn’t bear to see the look that might be on Silva’s face. He couldn’t bear to hear him ask…

“What’s wrong, Juan?” Silva asked, grazing his knuckles across Juan’s cheek.

Juan’s face burned. He was angry. How could Silva not know? How could he not see that he was in love with him? How was it possible that he wouldn’t think it would upset him to hear that he thought was “all alone” when Juan was _always_ there for him?!

Juan surprised Silva (and himself) when he shoved Silva off of his lap. Silva had cat-like reflexes and managed not to land flat on his ass. “What the…?” He managed to say before Juan exploded on him.

Juan jumped out of the chair and unloaded all of his emotion onto him. “What do you think is wrong with me, David? How do you not know? How could you not see? And how could you say that to me? How can you sit here and tell me you’re totally alone when I’m _always_ there for you? I come to you in the middle of the night, if you call! I let you in early in the morning when I’d rather be sleeping in, because you thought of Villa and couldn’t bear to lay in bed alone anymore! I’m _here_. I’m right _here_ , but you act like I’m nothing. You still say you’re alone even though I’m right here and I’m…” Juan stopped yelling. He had almost said it. He had almost told Silva that he was in love with him. Panic rippled through his body.

Silva was too shocked to speak, but his mind was begging him to ask, “What? You’re what?” Silva had been in love with Villa his entire adult life, that was true, but he had always had something special with Juan. Lately, he had been wishing Juan felt the way about guys that he did. Maybe if he did, he could find a way to be more than friends with him. He convinced himself every day that it would never happen. They were just friends and Juan would never want anything more.

“I can’t believe you,” Juan muttered, shaking his head as he stalked off.

“No!” Silva’s mind shouted. He could not let Juan get away without finishing his thought. He would probably say, “I’m done with you” or something like that, but what if – what if he said, “I’m in love with you?” Silva jogged after Juan, following him into the hallway.

Juan was running up the stairs, headed for his bedroom, so he could lock himself in and cry himself to sleep. In the morning, he would find his courage again and face Silva. Or he would stay in bed until Silva had to leave for his parents’ house.

Silva caught his arm just as he stepped into the doorway of his bedroom. “Juan, please. I’m sorry. Please, talk to me. Tell me what…tell me exactly what’s wrong.”

Juan turned and stared into his eyes. Silva’s heart wrenched when he saw tears flowing from Juan’s beautiful blue eyes, now on their way to being bloodshot. “If you don’t know, if you…can’t see, can’t tell…you’re not worth the time it would take for me to say it.”

Silva tightened his grip on Juan’s small arm when he tried to pull away. “Juan, are you…are…are you in love with me?”

Every muscle in Juan’s body clenched tight. He did know! A sob echoed through the hallway and Juan’s knees gave out. If he knew, why wouldn’t he say something? Why would he insist he was alone, never to be loved again if he knew?

It was as if Silva had read his mind when he suddenly said, “I was so afraid that I was wrong, that I was just seeing what I wanted to see, because I so desperately wanted to be in love again. I thought you could never love me. I didn’t even think you liked guys. You had that one girlfriend…” Silva trailed off when he felt like he was veering away from the topic.

Juan sniffed loudly and gasped in air. He wanted to speak. He wanted to tell Silva that he was in love with him and had been forever, but he couldn’t find air, let alone words!

Silva pulled his small body against his equally small body and held him tight as if that would stop the shuddering and the sobbing. “I love you, Juan,” he said, kissing Juan’s curly head. “I love you so much. Please stop crying and tell me you love me too.”

Juan sniffed and nodded against his chest like he could take a nod to mean, “I love you too.”

“Juan…”

Juan turned his head to the side, so that his words wouldn’t be muffled against Silva’s chest and said, “I love you too, David. I have loved you since that day you found me in the warm room crying and held me.”

Silva couldn’t help gasping. “That was, that…It’s been…You…I…”

“Five years. You were in love with Villa. And yeah, I’ve been waiting all this time.” Juan was starting to get angry again. His fists clenched at his sides.

“I’m so sorry. I wasn’t with Villa then. We didn’t get together until a month after that, I think.” Silva choked on a sob. “If I had known…” Silva broke away and covered his face. If he had known, he would have gotten with Juan then. He wouldn’t be in the mess he was in - trying to crawl out of - now. He would be in a happy, wonderful five-year relationship with a man that hadn’t left him. “You never left,” he said suddenly. “Even when I was with Villa, you were always there for me.”

“No shit,” Juan muttered, trudging into his bedroom. He wanted to slam the door in Silva’s face, but he left it open, because at the same time he wanted Silva to follow him and hold him.

Silva did follow him, quickly. He sat next to him when Juan sat down on the edge of his King size bed, covered in a dark red duvet. “I love you,” Silva whispered, kissing his ear. “I wish it had been you all along, Juan. You’ve never hurt me. You were always there, no matter what, to help me and fix me.”

“I loved you, David. What else was I going to do? There’s never been anyone else. It was always you. I just kept hoping you’d wake up and see that one day.”

“I did. I have. I…” Silva grabbed Juan’s face and pressed his lips to his. He couldn’t take it any longer. Even when he was with Villa, he had wondered what Juan’s lips would feel like. He had always found the little winger attractive. He was in a relationship, not blind.

Juan raked his fingers into Silva’s hair and lay back on the bed, bringing Silva down with him. Silva quickly moved on top of him to get a better angle on his lips. Juan moaned as the tip of his tongue slid across his lips. Juan parted his mouth and welcomed Silva’s tongue. Their tongues danced in a slow, languid tango. Juan had never experienced anything like it before. It was perfect. Tears rolled down his cheeks and his was glad for the fact that Silva’s eyes were closed. He felt foolish crying while they were kissing.

Silva felt a tear trickle onto his right hand which he had gripping Juan’s head. He pulled up and stared down at Juan. “Are you okay?” He asked, brushing away the tears.

“I’m perfect,” Juan said, pulling his face back to his.

After what seemed like forever, but was really only about five minutes, Juan was tugging at the hem of Silva’s shirt. Silva pulled up, straddling Juan on his knees and pulled his shirt over his head. He tossed it to the floor and stared down at the beautiful blue eyes staring up at him. “Do you want to…?”

Juan nodded eagerly. “Yes,” he said to make sure Silva was clear on what he wanted.

“Have you ever…?”

Juan shook his head from side-to-side and then verbally clarified, “No.” Silva sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. Juan felt self-conscious. “Is that…is there…are you mad?” He asked meekly.

Silva glanced back down at him. “What? No, baby, no,” he said, leaning down to kiss Juan’s fears away. When he pulled back up, he explained, “I just don’t have any lube or condoms. They’re kind of a must for a first time. Well, I guess condoms aren’t, but lube. You really…”

“I have some,” Juan interjected.

“What?!” Silva exclaimed. “I thought you said you never… Were you planning to seduce me?”

Juan’s face turned as red as the Christmas decorations he had around the house. “No,” he said, grinning bashfully. “I bought them for Sergio.”

“What?! You were planning to seduce Sergio? What about Nando?”

Juan laughed loudly and batted at Silva’s chest. “Daviiiid. I wasn’t going _to…seduce…anyone._ I bought them as a funny gift for Sergio. A big thing of lube and a box of condoms. You know, because him and Nando are always doing it.” Juan blushed and grinned again.

Silva laughed and fell over onto the bed next to Juan. He rested his hands on his chest as he laughed. His chest shook lightly. “I thought you were going to sleep with Serg.”

Juan’s nose wrinkled and he shook his head. “No. He’s attractive, I guess, but not my type. He’s too…big.”

David exclaimed, “You’ve seen his…” Juan’s face pinched. “Oh, you mean his body is too big.”

Juan nodded. “You sure are thinking about Sergio’s private area a lot!”

Silva laughed. Juan sounded like a kindergarten teacher with his “private area” talk. “Forget Sergio. Where is this ‘present?’”

“Downstairs. Under the tree, of course.”

Silva laughed loudly again. “Oh, my gosh. You have lube and condoms under your tree, Juan!”

Juan pouted. “They’re wrapped. In pretty green and red paper!” Juan beamed proudly.

Silva shook his head as he hoisted himself off the bed. “Come on and get it.”

Juan and Silva trotted down the stairs, side-by-side, because they were small enough to fit on the staircase that way. Juan knew exactly which box was Sergio’s. He grabbed it instantly and tore into the paper. “That’s a huge box!” Silva commented.

“You should see the lube! It’s huge!” Juan’s eyes widened in a cartoonish way.

“Good grief!” Silva exclaimed when Juan held out the tube of lube to him. It was as long as a carrot and as wide as a cucumber. “Where did you get this?”

“I ordered it online. You think I would actually go to a store and buy that?” Juan made a face and pulled the box of condoms from the box. “These are glow-in-the-dark,” he told Silva. “I think that’s stupid, but you know Sergio. He’ll like that.”

Silva nodded knowingly as he took the box from Juan. Juan tossed the torn open gift box in the bin. “What are you going to give Sergio now?”

“I bought him a watch as a real gift,” Juan chuckled.

“Oh, good. Well, come on.” Silva started off to go back to the bedroom.

“No,” Juan said. A chill ran down Silva’s spine. Juan had changed his mind.

Silva turned. “You’ve changed your mind.”

“Only about the bedroom. I want you to…make love to me here.” Juan pointed to the plush faux-fur rug in front of the fireplace. The flames were still flickering inside. Their light danced on the white “fur” of the rug.

“Here?”

“On the rug in front of the fire. Isn’t that romantic?”

Silva smiled. “I guess it is. He tossed the lube and condoms into the chair they had been sitting in earlier and grabbed Juan. After they kissed for a minute, he quickly removed the smaller man’s clothing, leaving him in his candy cane striped boxer shorts. “Very festive,” he commented as he stripped down to his plain black boxer briefs.

Juan stood back admiring Silva’s physique. He was small, but fit and dark and beautiful. His skin contrasted Juan’s paler skin in a way that, for some reason, made Juan harden under his Christmas boxers.

Silva grabbed Juan again and kissed him as he carefully lowered him to the floor. Juan’s back felt like it was lying on a cloud, an incredibly soft cloud. He moaned as Silva kissed his neck, sucking gently on Juan’s pulse point. “I love you,” he whispered, sucking Juan’s earlobe.

“I love you too,” Juan whispered, bringing his face back to his. They kissed passionately for another minute before Silva – now semi-hard – moved his face to Juan’s chest, trailing kisses down his peck to his nipple. He traced a circle around the hard little point with the tip of his perfect tongue. Juan whimpered and arched his back. Silva grazed his teeth over Juan’s skin and flicked his tongue over the tender little point. Juan’s cock tingled in his boxer shorts.

Silva ground against him as he kissed away from his nipples and down onto his stomach, flicking his tongue over his navel before he concentrated on the sensitive skin below it. He lowered Juan’s boxers, a centimeter at a time, teasing the newly revealed skin with the tip of his tongue and his teeth.

Juan moaned and squirmed beneath him, tugging at the fur of the rug at his side. His fists were white from clutching it so tightly. “David,” he gasped.

Silva tugged his shorts down and off, tossing them somewhere behind him. They would see in the morning that they had landed, like a sexy ornament, on Juan’s otherwise perfectly adorned Christmas tree. Silva stared hungrily at Juan’s glistening cock. He flicked his tongue over his bottom lip. Juan watched him and squeaked.

Juan shrieked when Silva suddenly dipped and took his tip into his mouth. Silva sucked and flourished his tongue over the head, lapping up every precious bit of Juan’s salty-sweet pre-cum. Then, he dipped his head lower, taking his full length into his mouth. What he couldn’t reach he massaged with his hand.

Juan moaned and scratched at the rug on either side of him. His eyes were clenched shut, his jaw clamped together. With each moan, each whimper, each buck of his hips, Silva grew harder and harder. His cock throbbed and ached, pressing against its cotton prison.

He pulled away from Juan in one sudden upward motion. Juan yelped like a kicked puppy. “I’m sorry, my love,” David said, jerking down his shorts and kicking them away. He gave his cock a few light strokes to release some of the tension.

“Let me.” Juan’s hand was suddenly pulled his away. His hand was soon replaced with Juan’s warm mouth. He stroked the shaft as he sucked and licked at the head.

Silva moaned and threw his head back. His eyes rolled back in his head as his hand found Juan’s beautiful curly hair and squeezed it. “Juan, stop, Juan…I’ll come. Stop.”

Juan obediently pulled away. “I want you to come inside of me,” he whispered, pulling Silva back down on top of him.

The words and the way that Juan’s cock had brushed against his on the way down sent a shiver down Silva’s spine. His body shuddered. He held Juan’s hands and pinned them above his head, ravishing his neck. Juan moaned and arched his back. Silva sucked a bruise on the side of his neck and then pulled back. “The lube,” he panted before Juan could ask where he was going. As soon as he had the comically large tube in his hand, he started to squeeze some onto his fingers. “Are you sure?” He asked, glancing down at Juan.

Juan nodded eagerly. “Don’t use a condom. I want to feel you coming inside me.”

Silva groaned and quickly squirted the lube onto his fingers. He dropped the tube next to Juan and knelt between his legs. He hitched Juan’s leg up on his shoulder. He ran his finger around Juan’s entrance. Juan twitched and bucked his hips further off the floor. Silva gently pushed his finger into him. He was so tight.

Juan groaned and whimpered softly. Silva gave him a few seconds to adjust before pulling his finger back and adding another before pushing back in. Juan cried out in pain this time. Silva hooked his fingers inside of him and leaned over. “Shh. It’s okay,” he soothed, brushing hair back from Juan’s sweaty forehead. “Shh.” Silva kissed Juan’s lips as he wiggled his fingers around to open Juan up. Juan moaned loudly into his mouth. Silva slipped in a third finger. Juan clamped down on him.

Silva kept his hand still as he kissed Juan’s lips softly, sliding his tongue into his mouth. When Juan’s muscles relaxed, he pulled his fingers out and thrust them back in. Soon, he had a rhythm going and Juan’s moans almost sounded like moans of pleasure. “Are you ready?” Silva asked. His lips tickled as they brushed against Juan’s lips.

“Yes,” Juan whispered. Silva kissed him passionately for that and slid his fingers out.

He pulled up and generously lubed his cock. Being a small guy, someone might assume it was small too. That assumption would be very wrong. Silva wiped his hands on his pajama pants and grabbed Juan. He got him into what he thought would be the perfect positions, hips up to provide the best angle, and slowly entered him – just his tip first.

Juan screamed in pain and tears filled his eyes, spilling onto his cheeks as soon as he squeezed his eyes closed. Silva leaned down, pushing in a little further by accident, and inciting another scream and more tears out of Juan. “Lo siento, mi amor. Te amo. Te amo, Juan,” Silva whispered. “I’m sorry. I love you.”

Juan mewled like a kitten and his cute little bottom lip pouted out as Silva placed apologetic, sweet kisses on his sweat-soaked chest. Juan finally relaxed enough for Silva to push in another inch and another before Juan could tighten around him again.

Juan shrieked and bit his bottom lip. “I don’t want to do this anymore. It hurts,” he cried. Tears were running down his cheeks now.

Silva bit his bottom lip to stop himself from getting emotional. “Shhh. Juan, baby, please. Calm down.” Silva kissed his moist cheeks and gently brushed the tears away. “It will get better, I promise. You’re okay. I would never want to hurt you. Shh.”

“Just go all the way the next time,” Juan sobbed. “Just do it. I don’t want it to keep hurting and hurting. Just go all the way.”

Silva did as Juan asked and thrust his full length in the next time Juan had relaxed enough for him to move. Juan’s whole body arched off the floor and he cried out in pain. Silva was surprised at the string of expletives that flew from his usually sweet and innocent mouth. The cursing continued as Silva tried to pull out and thrust in, in search of the rhythm he need for this to really feel good.

When he found his rhythm and that sweet spot deep in Juan, the swearing stopped and Juan’s moans became pleasure-filled again. Silva stroked his cock to increase the pleasure. Juan grabbed his head and brought it down for a kiss. Silva increased the speed of his stroking. Juan moaned into his mouth. His thrusts sped up to match the strokes. He was going to come soon. He could feel it. Juan was burning hot and so tight. He couldn’t hold it.

“I’m gonna come,” Juan said.

When he felt Juan’s muscles contract, he knew his words were true. He hunched almost unnaturally and wrapped his mouth around the head of Juan’s cock. Juan came in his mouth a moment later. Silva drank him down as he came deep inside of him, filling him just as Juan had asked. Juan whimpered and moaned, pulled Silva up to kiss him.

Silva pulled out of him gently and laid his head over on his chest. He could hear Juan’s rapid heart in his ear. His head rose and fell with his deep breathing. “I love you,” he said for the millionth time that night. He thought it was probably ridiculous, but he couldn’t stop saying it. He was so overjoyed to be in love again.

“I love you,” Juan said as his fingers trailed through Silva’s sweaty hair. “I always have.”

Silva bit his lip, but tears fell onto Juan’s chest anyway. “Don’t cry,” Juan said. “Kiss me.”

Silva pulled away from their kiss after a minute when Juan’s grandfather clock started chiming, announcing the midnight hour’s arrival. He smiled down into the serene face of his lover. “Merry Christmas, Juan,” He said.

“Merry Christmas, David,” Juan said, pulling him back down for their first Christmas Day kiss.


End file.
